Wednesday, April 20, 2011

4 20: A Blog about How to Get Marijuana Legalized

Clearly everyone out there trying to get marijuana legalized 'for medical purposes' is stoned, hence their inability to actually get it legalized.  So I am here to do the clear thinking for you.  again.  First, go get some Taco Bell, then settle down and read this to have your mind absolutely blown away, man.
I have people come up to me all the time with petitions to sign to join the good fight to have marijuana legalized for medical use.  I am all for the legalization of marijuana for medical use. Hell, anyone who knows me and my spinal cord issues knows that I am a prime candidate. So why do I never sign the petitions?
Well, I'm gonna tell you why.  
I thought about this on many occasions and came up with the same result.  I have even explained my results to several of the petitioners who must have been too stoned to really be able to fully absorb what I am about to share with you. 
I am a designer and have worked with the marketing teams for some of the most high profile companies in the world.  This is what I have learned.  Presentation is everything.
If you want normal people to take the issue seriously, it needs to be presented seriously.
I am always approached by someone wearing at least one article of tie-dyed clothing, with dreads and reeking of patchouli, incense, reggae and all the other offensive odors associated with the pot smoking culture.
I don't even want to stand near you for five seconds, let alone long enough to write my name on a clip-boarded sheet of paper. I also don't believe you have anything other than personal recreation use in mind if you should succeed with your mission of legalization. Yes, I'm calling you a liar, hippie.
If you really want marijuana legalized you must appeal to the norm ie: the people who can actually vote to get it legalized because they get up at normal hours and leave the house before the polls close.
Put on a suit or get someone you know to put on a suit.  Take a bath. Use soap. Limit your use of the words 'man' and 'whoa' and 'dude'  I'm the first one to jump into conspiracy mode but you must not bash the government and speak of hidden agendas and all that, after all  the government is going to be the entity that has to legalize it and then also dispense it.  You want them on your side, thats the whole point here.
They have the good shit. 
If at all possible have an actual person who could benefit from the medical use of marijuana out there with you.  Someone with glaucoma or a handicapped person or someone with a terminal painful condition, like myself (I could come with you in your suit, and complain and moan about how much pain I'm in like I do everyday-they would sign it just to shut me up)
And really that's the point here. All the medically necessary users need to bitch and moan and complain enough that the squeaky wheel gets the grease.
People are uncomfortable around the handicapped and the blind - let's use that to our advantage.
My sister would never sign a petition like that as it stands now even knowing what I have to live with daily - BUT  if a cute clean cut young man in a suit or traditional 'regular guy' garb approached her and flirted a bit, she would sign in a heart beat! That's how the regular folk are and that's who you need to get this (pardon the pun) rolling.
Get them damn hippies off the street and back on the couches where they belong.
Lets get it legalized the RIGHT way, people.
Do you hear what I'm saying, dude?
Can I get a "whoa?"

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