Wednesday, November 20, 2019

Swiping Conundrum

What's the difference between "dating" and "hanging out?"

I believe that is the question that stumps pretty much everyone who participates in the swipe games.
As most of my readers are aware, I participate in the games in 6 month increments, get completely re-disillusioned and then sit them out for the next 6 months until some rube again convinces me that I am a great contender.

Is it possible to just be "hanging out" with one person after 3 months or more have passed?
Or is that technically considered dating?
Should you still be meeting other swipers during that three+ months if you are only hanging out?

And how the hell do you know if you are just hanging out?
I have a rubric (if you will) that I use to test the difference between dating and hanging out.
Feel free to use it if you find yourself confused.

Questions to ask yourself while looking upward at nothing with your hand on your chin:
- are you a priority for them?
- do they initiate contact as often as you do?
- is it one-sided?
- do you feel like talking to them?
- do you care whether or not you see them regularly?
- do you only want to see them when you're bored or lonely?
- would a pet accomplish the same thing as this person?
- is it just a sex thing?

These questions are good start to sort out the difference between dating and hanging out.
If you discover that you are hanging out but feel like enough time has passed and you are ready to date, perhaps talk to your swiper and see where they are at.
If it looks like you are just going to remain in "hangout" limbo, I say go ahead and see other people.
Hang out with as many other swipers as you damn well please because more than likely they have been.

Anyway, I have never been a big dater although I'm not really into hanging out either if it extends past a certain amount of time and just becomes a weird rut - you know, like having to stop at the grocery store on the way home from work constantly to pick up toilet paper and beer. (which, dammit, I have to do again tonight. ugh)
I will go the usual 6 months and then it is definitely time for a break.
I don't want dating OR hanging out to feel like buying toilet paper and beer.
Sorry, not sorry.

Hangouts seem to provide me with a great supply of stories, however, like the biter, the weird French guy, the rugby player with the unusually soft skin (I swear I am not a serial killer but do really appreciate a good skin care regimen) etc as long as they are short-lived.
Some guys I swipe on with only the intention of hanging out and very few with the intention of dating.  If I feel like dating another swiper, I have found something very intriguing or special about them - but that seems to be a rare thing.
And of course we all know I will almost definitely every time swipe to troll a mother fucker if the opportunity arises!

I am used to doing things alone and don't need a baby daddy or even financial support so I guess that puts me in a unique position in the swipe games.

But those are my thoughts on that.
I hope this helps all my lady friends (and dudes, too) who seem to find themselves asking this question too often.