Saturday, July 18, 2015

Keepin it Classy

My boss told me yesterday that he once ended a date because the girl didn't like tater tots. He got them with his meal and offered her some.  When she stated that she did not like them, a discussion ensued and then he decided that was the end of the date.

Yesterday when I was eating dinner at my local Tex/Mex place, I saw a couple who were clearly on a date.  I sort of watched them while I was eating.  The girl poured out the last of the green salsa and then proceeded to lick the rim of the vessel in which it was contained.  
Yes, she licked the salsa bottle top.  
In public.
At a restaurant.
And the guys seemed unphased by this glorious display of grace and class as she then ran her finger along the inside of the bottle.  
My first thought upon witnessing this was "gross" and then "maybe I should offer her the left-over half of my salsa so she won't have to lick a publicly shared carafe."
Then I was wondering why the hell she didn't just ask for more.
The only reaction I could tell this solicited from her date was that he ordered another beer.

I shared this story with the bartender at the same Tex/Mex eatery this morning and she was grossed out too and had a story of her own to share.  
There was a couple on a date that her friend knew.  When they were finished eating their meal, the server came to remove the dirty dishes but the girl grabbed her plate from the server, and licked it clean with her tongue.  She then handed it back to the server.  
She explained to her date that she was trying to get in touch with her animal side.
Instead of being totally grossed out, he said it was how he knew she was the girl for him.
What the hell?

The male bartender said he could totally understand and relate to the tater tot situation.

Any disgusting stories of your own to share about a date that either ended it or sealed the deal?

Thursday, July 2, 2015

Summer in the City

Well, dudes - I've moved since last we were together.
I also have a different job and wow, it's been a while since I've blogged.
I've moved to an area of Atlanta just south of midtown - Inman Park/Old Fourth Ward-ish.  The area is nice and is a great pedestrian and cycling community.  Plenty of trendy hipster places to eat and drink. 
You know me, I gotta be around folks.  How else do you get the good blog material?
Anyway, back to my 'hood.

So I live on what is known as the Atlanta Beltline (
Its a trail that connects several neighborhoods in this part of town and is used by a wide cross-section of people for different reasons.
Some walk.  
Many jog and ride bike.  
There's a skate park so there are plenty of skate-boarders zipping down the trail.  
There are people walking to and from work; 
to and from restaurants and bars; 
taking the dog out for some exercise; etc.
You get my drift.  

There's a lovely park along the trail and it crosses over the Masquerade Music Venue and right by the Murder Kroger.
I personally use the trail to walk to the Murder Kroger (and yes, it's called that for exactly the reason you think it is) and to get in some daily exercise or as a short cut to places like this (the coffee shop where I am currently blogging)
In the Spring they had planted some wild flowers along the beltline in order to beautify it and bring butterflies and birds and what not to the area.
Well, it's Summer now and the shit is overgrown.
The flowers are lovely but the weeds are taller than I am!
Everyday when I'm walking, I think what a nightmare of a snake pit and mosquito breeding ground they have created with all the weeds and flowers and no one seems to care.
What the hell, man?
Now I don't get bitten by mosquitoes but I'm pretty sure snakes aren't quite as picky. 
The overgrowth has also encouraged dog walkers to forego the cleaning up after Fido.  No one can see it (the poop) or the dog, for that matter!
The other day when I was walking, I noticed a new little sign stuck in the ground that read "Caution: Natural Snake Habitat"
This is your answer to this mess?
Too lazy to keep it groomed and safe so just stick an effing sign in the ground?
Where's the "Natural Mosquito Habitat" sign?
The "Private Dog Facilities" sign?
And the one that I am anticipating most:
"Dead Body Dumping Ground. Use Caution"
Crime in the area happens.  
It has had a little spike here recently.
This is Atlanta, after all.
That's when I think all this is finally going to get the landscaping it requires, when someone decides it's the perfect place to dump a body.  Or even better, the weeds are tall enough to obscure a predatory criminal looking to mug drunken hipsters.
With Murder Kroger just steps away, you would think someone (besides me) would be keen to this sort of potential risk.  
Trim the weeds, dammit.  
At the very least, create some sort of low foliage easement.  That crazy weed shit comes all the way out to and overhangs the actual concrete path!
I would get out there and do it my own damn self but I would surely get thrown in jail for disturbing the snake habitat.
As Brian pointed out though, "Wait until they're ready to put that rail system in there and then it's 'fuck those snakes'."

Other than the weed situation, I love the area.  I dig the new job and my neighbors have all been pretty cool so far.
Also King of Pops ( ) is right around the corner - just a few minutes walk.  
So there's that.

Come see me if you happen to be in the area or need to dump a body.