Working 9 to 5 or really like 7:30 to 4:30

Everyone has been asking how the new job is going so I comprised a list of some of the
Pros and Cons -

PRO:
Yay! I have a steady job with good pay.

CON:
Boo. I have to go to bed early and get up early.

PRO:
I'm doing what I love and what I paid a fortune to an institution of higher education to do.

CON:
I have to start paying back those loans so there goes a big chunk of that "good pay"

PRO:
I get to dress fancy every day!

CON:
I have to dress fancy everyday.

PRO:
I have my own space on the top floor with a sky light.

CON:
It is really super quiet.  Like public library quiet. Like, you better not fart in your cubicle because I am going to hear you quiet.

PRO:
I'm part of a really small group within the organization.  My boss described us as "rogue"
I like that.

CON:
I don't think I'm going to meet any hot men since we are a really small group (4 ppl) and two of us are women (one who is retiring in 2 weeks), one is the boss and the other is married.

PRO:
I can finally wear all this damn lipstick I keep buying.

CON:
I have to keep applying lipstick all day.

PRO:
I'll be able to move ITP!

CON:
I have to commute no matter where I live.

PRO:
I get an hour for lunch.  The cafeteria is pretty good and there's a lot of great restaurants in the vicinity.

CON:
I have no one to go to lunch with (this may be a PRO also tho)

PRO:
Everyone is really nice.  Not cult nice but genuinely nice.

CON:
I don't think we will be having "talk like a..." whatever day like we did at Blick.  I miss talk like a game show host day and also talk like your favorite foreigner day.  sigh.

PRO:
I am going to utilize skills that have atrophied over the past few years.  No, not those skills.

CON:
I have to make sure I remember how to use all the programs they are under the impression I can use.

PRO:
The weekend won't just be two other days that I get confused with the weekdays because there was nothing to differentiate them.

CON:
No days off during the week to do a little day drinking.

PRO:
I will be able to settle all my outstanding debts. 

CON:
The IRS will get most of my money.  seriously.  like one fifth of what I make this year plus what I will normally owe.  Bastards.

PRO:
Travel! Travel! Travel!  Guess who's going to do some travelling?

CON:
I will only have the weekends to travel.

PRO:
My cubicle is really close to the bathroom.

...always good to end on a high note =)

So there's that.  I am really blessed and excited about this opportunity!

Douglas and David

This is a tale of love, lust, first meetings and first impressions.  

I threw myself back into the dating scene on a whim.

Actually it was on a chocolate high and extreme boredom.

I met a guy online and it was agreed that we would meet in town for some day drinking and a bite.

I arrived early because I am neurotic like that.  Also I'm a bit of a control freak.  

I wanted to make sure I was in charge of our location and that I also had a good vantage point when my "date" arrived.  Wanted to be able to size him up before he had the chance to do the same to me.  

See? Control freak.

It was a nice day in November so I decided the patio would be a good idea. I stood and surveyed the location after texting my potential "one" that I was already there.  

I spied a seat in the corner facing the two incoming streets. Like a mafia boss, I could see the incoming traffic and the front entrance.  There would be no surprise attack. The table next to it had just been vacated and there were dirty dishes still hardening in the breeze which would ensure no one else would sit there too soon.  I wanted to be able to talk to my new encounter without having to worry about being part of someone else's conversation and vice versa.  When my niece and I go to dinner, we always seem to be able to tell when a couple are on a first date or met online.  I didn't want to be "that" couple.  This could help prevent that situation, especially if shit got awkward.

Or so I thought.

Turns out the table next to the one I just settled into was not vacant. 

Enter, Douglas.  

Or rather; GRAND entrance, Douglas!

A rather large man came bounding over like a huge, drunk St. Bernard.  Stopping to sniff the other patrons and greet their hounds. He announced in a very friendly and very loud voice "Oh my, you must REALLY be brave to take a seat next to me, honey!" 

Oh no.

He dropped the full force of his weight onto the bench next to me and announced that he was Douglas and who was I?  I introduced myself and thought "Oh Dear God.  This is not what I wanted.  In fact, this is the exact opposite of what I wanted."  

I could hear the universe laughing.  

Loudly.

Thankfully, I am as adaptable as the duckbill platypus, whatever that means.

I rolled with it.  I really kind of enjoy this sort of thing.

More so when I am not on my first date in 4 years, but whatever.

He explained that he was quite drunk and anything was liable to happen.

When I suggested dancing on the table, he referenced his ample stature, the low tensile strength of the table and then said that even so, anything might happen!

He regained his composure.

I got the grand inquisition: 

"Are you here by yourself?"

"Not really"

I didn't want to encourage this behavior but didn't want to be rude either.

I also didn't want my date to think I brought him along as a reinforcements.

"Waiting for someone?"

"Yeah, sort of a blind date."

"OOOOOH, did you meet online?"

"Yes. eHarmony."

In the meantime another guy had quietly slipped into a chair directly across from where Douglas had set up camp. Douglas waved his hand in the direction of this slim and obviously introverted individual.

"Me and David met online! But it wasn't eHarmony, honey!" and he rolled into a huge belly laugh.

I couldn't help but laugh right along with him.

David gave me a nod.

He related to me that David was from Ohio and he was from Augusta.  David was more used to a small town.  I guess this was his attempt to explain David's lack of wanting to jump into the conversation. 

Douglas went on that he was tired of living out in the middle of nowhere so they both decided to move into what he referred to as "the gayborhood"

I snickered as he laughed whole heartedly!

He asked about my background and I filled him in briefly and without much detail.

Being a sort of military brat I always fill with dread when asked those sorts of questions because it is never a short answer.  And lest we forget that I was waiting for a date to show up. 

Douglas was genuinely interested and we carried on a short conversation about me.  It was decided that Douglas would be my surrogate father in this whole date situation.  If things went well, he would assess this gentleman and then give his approval rating.  

But how?

If things went poorly, he would say I was with them.  He demonstrated this by grabbing my whole person and sliding me over next to him.  It was a bit of a shock but quite funny. 

If things were going well, he would use a code word.

Which word?

I received a text that my guy was parking and would be there in just moments.

Oh shit.

We had to think of something quickly and then I had to gently cut the cord from Douglas so as not to put off my dude.  It was decided that if Douglas found my date worthy of his standards then he would say "banana."

Remember, Douglas was quite drunk. 

This was hilarious and I was laughing when, out of the corner of my eye, I spied my date moving toward us.  

Douglas did too.

"Is that him?" he whispered the way you would fully expect a drunk to whisper.

Not at all.

I nodded and brushed him off.

My date walked right up and I stood to greet him.  Being in such tight quarters, I also introduced Douglas and David.  He shook their hands and we all took our seats.

Douglas proceeded to let him know that the service was atrocious and that he had been waiting for not only his drink and shot for about 20 minutes but that there were also some elusive crab cakes waiting in the wings.  They were delicious if you ever get them apparently. 

We decided to get drinks and Douglas, who had now included himself as a member of our party, informed us that there had been a black guy waiter, another black guy waiter who was not the first guy, a blond chick waiter and now this OTHER black guy who had approached us with menus.  

I looked at the menu praying that Douglas would not make this any more awkward than it was fast becoming.  Douglas was a wild card, to say the least.

My date seemed to be taking it in stride and was engaged in conversation with Douglas.  

David remained silent the whole time.  

He also seemed a bit annoyed with the whole situation.

I could hear Douglas asking questions about my date's watch and other silly questions while I tried to bury my head in the menu and pretend this was not happening but also trying to enjoy the surrealism of it all the same.

I suggested we grab a drink and perhaps get food elsewhere.

Was my getaway plan too obvious?

My date was okay with the idea but suggested perhaps we go inside to the bar since the sun was going down.  

His getaway plan, perhaps?

Douglas agreed that we should go in to the bar because the service would be way better.  So it was agreed by all; my date and I should go inside. 

Whew.

As we gathered our things, Douglas says, "If you decide to get dessert, I think you should try the bananas foster!" and then he looks directly at me.

I laugh and reply, "Is it good?"

He  replied, "Oh honey, it's VERY good!"

We went inside to the bar and had a great time.

Douglas and David made several appearances at the bar because of the poor patio service.  At one point my date bought us all a round of shots.  

We ate food.  We made out. We talked and talked.

It was a great five hours with my date.

He paid for Douglas and David's next few rounds.

They bid us farewell when they left the bar to go home.

We left shortly after.  

Events could have gone horribly awry but instead I got a second date.

Single on Valentine's Day

So Valentine's Day is just around the corner.
Three days away, in fact.
Couple that with the fact that the crew kept trying to get me to hit on the firemen that showed up during our shoot today, I started thinking about how I really feel about being single right now.
The short answer: I'm okay with it.
The long answer is a bit more complex.

Quite a few of the women I went to high school with are also currently single.
There seems to be some sort of stigma that there's something wrong with you if you are single at our age.  I think the exact opposite is true and that is why we are single;
There's nothing wrong with us.

We make our own money.
We take care of ourselves and our children (if we have them)
We have great friends.
We have hobbies.
We travel.
We don't mind going to the movies or eating dinner out alone.
We are mentally and emotionally strong and stable.
And, I think, the most important is that we love ourselves and are okay being alone with our own company.
We are secure in who we are.

Apparently most men don't seem to be able to handle that.
I don't know why.
A guy friend of mine likened me to being the equivalent of the betta fish of girlfriends. 
Not needy.
Perfectly fine being alone.
Leave em alone for weeks at a time and come back and they're still fine.
I don't know if that's a good thing but it was funny.

I think it takes a really special kind of man to be able to date a strong woman.
A man who is really secure with himself.
Most men seem to want to rescue someone or like that women have to depend on them for their well being and just about everything else.  They want a woman to feed their ego or be a possession.
We want a man to be a companion.
Someone with whom we can have an intelligent conversation about movies and books and yes, sports.
Someone who doesn't take himself too seriously.
Someone who is okay being who he is so he can be okay with us being who we are.
I know too many women who wrap their identity up in whomever they are dating at the time or are married to - and when it ends (if it ends) they are devastated because they have no identity or friends of their own and they have no clue what to do except cling on to the next guy that comes along.

I'm not saying that I don't want to be with someone.
My ex-husband was a great match for me.  He is very comfortable with who he is and was therefore comfortable with me being me.  He had hobbies and his own friends.  I had hobbies and my own friends. The fact that our interests overlapped is what bonded us together.  Because neither of us were insecure and both contributed equally to most everything, we didn't argue about the stuff most couples find themselves arguing about.  The events that led to our divorce will always be seen as a tragedy to me because it shouldn't have happened and the timing of everything couldn't have been worse.  We are still good friends and have been able to discuss how those awful events changed who we were entirely.

Back to Valentine's Day.
I am not bitter about love so I do not abhor the holiday, even if I find it rather silly. 
While I was married, I made him swear to never buy me a stuffed anything.
No diamond heart pendant.
Never, ever any red roses (to me the ugliest of all the roses)
No heart shaped box of ANYTHING.
Valentine's is a holiday of clichés and that's what I find so silly.
The best Valentine's Day was when I received power tools (even if there was a mylar balloon attached to them)
I do like those little sugar heart candies tho - nothing like a little diabetes for your love!

Another fond Valentine's memory I have is when the guy I was dating and I got each other the exact same card! Talk about knowing each other pretty dang well!!

but I digress...

I am glad I was raised to be a healthy strong woman and I know my friends, who are single, are glad as well.
Would we like to find someone awesome to share our life with?
Sure.
Are we willing to put up with a bunch of bullshit or change into some sort of wilting lily to find a man?
Nope.

And we're okay with that.
It would be nice if more men were.
Happy Valentine's Day!

A late Throwback Blog so lets call it a Flashback Friday

Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Is it wrong:
Current mood: contemplative
Category: Life

Is it wrong:

...to drink beer before I get on the treadmill?

...to think that maybe people should mind their own damn business?

...to wonder why everyone in this town is shifty?

...to think it's not littering if the product is natural, like edamame shells?

...to expect something in return?

...to believe oatmeal cookies are nutritional?

...to question peoples' motives?

...to take a nap when I feel like it?

...to love someone with 100% of your being?

...to think I might find a cool job in Miami?

...to blog when I should be working?