Rückkehr ins Vaterland (Return to the Fatherland)

Tomorrow I am returning to the only place I consider "home."

As a Third Culture Kid, I do not have the luxury of calling any place my hometown.
We moved from my birthplace (Baltimore, MD) when I was 6 months old so I don't think that qualifies as more than that, "birthplace."
The great thing is though, that I can select ANY of the places I've been as my hometown if I choose to be optimistic about it.
Munich, Germany is the place where I stake such a claim.
It is where I spent pretty much the longest stretch of residence during my formative years.
And boy was it formative!!!
Having lived there from the tender prepubescent age of 15 sprouting into the pseudo-adulthood of 21, I learned many things about life and love and angst and various vices during the Regan Era.
The dollar was strong.
The Euro didn't exist.
Neither did the internet or cell phones.
New wave and metal bands ruled the airwaves.
Parents were seemingly absent - as if it were a period piece written and directed by John Hughes himself.
Fuck you, Ferris Bueller.
You wish you had this much adventure!

One of the things I cherish most about my time in Munich, is that it is where I learned it was okay to be me.  Weird, artsy, intelligent, nerdy me.
The German culture seemed to embrace and nurture these qualities.
The people in our tightly knit community did too.
We are all still very tightly knit thanks to Facebook - love it or hate it.
It also taught me that it was okay if people were different, you still loved and respected them because they were their own unique little selves.
That seems to be missing today - people believe if someone doesn't believe the same religious, political or sports nonsense that they do, then they are the enemy of you.
This is complete and utter horse shit.
But I digress....

Munich is where I met my soul sister - sister from another mister; Marika.

I just turned 16. She was 15.
She was smoking cigarettes with my older brother.
How we became friends exactly, I can't say.
We didn't have many classes together but apparently something just clicked.
The universe conspired and that was that.
Turns out we had very similar home situations and attitudes.
We both loved Prince and would listen to Dirty Mind and Controversy on the turntable at her house ad nauseam.
We read the same books and comic books.
She was a musician and I was an artist.
We were both into gymnastics and working out.
Typical workout routine:
smoke on the walk to the gym; hit the mats to do some stretching and tumbling; take a break to go smoke; hit the free weights; take a break and go smoke another cigarette; play a few rounds of racquet ball; smoke cigarettes on the walk over to the bar; cool off with a few cold beers - perhaps a shot or two if the workout was a particularly good one.
It's all about balance.

 

 

Tomorrow I will be returning to my hometown for the first time since I left.
I will be staying with Marika at her mother's home.
I am giddy with anticipation and nostalgia.
Those were the absolute best days of my life.
It was where I found my life line.
It was where I found out who I was and not who I was expected to be.
It's where I told everyone to fuck off, this is me - love it or don't.
It was where I learned no one has to like me but myself and I need to be myself regardless of anyone else's opinion.
Most people don't make these discoveries until well into adulthood and some never lose their insecurities enough to ever fully be themselves.
Munich taught me to say "fuck that"
I think Marika and I learned that at the same time - growing painfully into that awareness together in sometimes dangerous but always interesting situations.
We have traveled the world together sometimes without leaving home.
I think the greatest thing about Munich though was meeting her.
Everyone should be so lucky (especially people in our unique situations) to have a best friend for life.
The person you can call day or night.  The person who walks through fire with you. The person who celebrates joys with you and you give it back to them in equal measure.
This is why I am so excited about this trip....
The two of us back together again in the place where it all started, for the first time since it all started. May the memories and growth continue over beers and laughter - PROST!

 

Trolling for Entertainment

Am I a troll?
Yes.
The murky world of dating apps are my waters.
I know I promised a gem of a troll but this one is a bit more recent and I have all the resources available at hand.
The other one I have to go back and do some grabs etc. These I had grabbed in real time.
Sit back and enjoy a tiny bit of the joy that is my app dating life:

A while back I matched with this guy, Anthony:

Pretty cute, right?

I match with fairly cute guys, so it didn't seem odd at first

(I suggest you google Raoul Bova)

Anyhoo, this guy messages me and here begins our journey:

This was not the end of this conversation but he apparently unmatched me right as I was grabbing the next part of the conversation but it went something like this:

I asked if he shares this story with all of his matches.

He said only me because I looked like his mom when she was young.

I asked for a picture of his mom for comparison.

He asked if this made me hot and turned me on.

I said no, it made me think he was a sociopath who took advantage of a woman who was vulnerable when her husband left her 

and thats when

 *poof*

he was gone 

and with it the last of the screen grabs 

- before I was able to report him as a fake account.

I have learned that when someone opens with a bizarre story of this sort or a dead wife or child etc that the account is a fake and leading to a scam of some sort - I will usually do a Google image search of the profile pic (as in this case) which will confirm it

...then the trolling begins

if I have the energy and time 

Stay safe out there, ladies

and men, this is why women are sometimes shitty on these apps.

I know it happens to men too.

Dating sucks.

Here We Go Again.

Yes, yes again.
I go through these phases where I let my nieces or friends convince me that I need to start dating.  I need to find someone.
Well, kids, that's easier said than done - as you may have seen from a few of my previous silly posts about what a nightmare the dating app scene can be.
I think sometimes I just continue to do it for comic relief.
I mean, c'mon how can you not get a kick out of a profile like this:

That's like 2 tickets to paradise right there - a guy willing to take you on a weekend getaway right away? (see what I mean? comedy gold)

But alas, there are only so many giggles you can mine before getting extremely depressed and disappointed.  I try to never have expectations of any situation or person but I think the disappointment stemmed from having expectations of the apps themselves.
The quality of the people I've met on there is questionable, at best. (quite a few scammers)
I will blog about one in particular that was hilarious - Chad (my ex-husband) was in awe about how persistent the guy was even though I totally called him on his scam!! stay tuned.

The best connections I've gotten off any of the apps were from guys who were straight up about only being on there for a hookup.
I appreciated the honesty.

The games, the endless texting, the ghosting after what seemed like a fairly decent date (in which they talked up hanging out again but turned out to be blatantly lying)
I have a tendency to take people at their word because I try to be an honest and straight forward person. I will admit a few of my apps linked through facebook have my wrong age (I give false info to fb because who tf are they that they need my info anyway?)
Usually a guy will ask if that's really my age.
Honestly, they usually think I'm younger which is weird - but I will tell them my real age.

Age is of no consequence to me; as many of you know.
Matching maturity level, interests and connection is way more important.
Most guys are totally cool with it - and some say they are cool with it but are not.
Nothing I can do about that.

So, I'm at that place where I have deleted all of my accounts/apps again because it's tiring and I am perfectly fine being by myself - I just think sometimes it would be nice to share time with another interesting human being with whom there is mutual attraction.

What I have discovered is that those people are not on apps - they are out in the real world and that's where I need to be too.

No Such Thing as Free Lunch?

This week has been crazy; maybe it's because it was the last week of Mercury Retrograde or maybe it was just weird because sometimes that's how life is.

My job was a bit stressful, well probably more annoying than stressful.  It takes quite a bit to stress me out, especially at work.  I also had an issue with my useless fucking ovaries causing unbearable pain just for the hell of it. So all in all a pretty miserable state of affairs.
But being the optimist that I am, I want to point out the bright spot in all of this daily drudgery –
I have not had to pay for one of my meals at work this week – breakfast or lunch.
Why?
I dunno.
The cafeteria people are good folks.
There are two employees that I have an affinity toward because they like to chat, as do I.
One of them pointed out, we are all Geminis.
(This really is not about astrology)
The fact that we know each other's birthdays is the actual point.

Every morning I greet the Security guard when I walk in unless she is quicker on the draw.
Every evening when I leave there is a different Security guard who is much younger and I always say Goodnight to her and sometimes stop to check out her latest nail art or compliment her when she has done something really cute with her hair.  She also sometimes beats me to the punch but always has a great smile and lights up when we speak.

I consider all of these people my coworkers.
We are all in the same building working toward a common goal.
Each a specific cog in the wheel that makes the UPS machine run.

The fact that I receive free meals and hearty greetings from these particular coworkers, makes me think that not everyone views them in this light and that makes me sad.
We are all equal in my eyes.  Some of us may make more money or work longer hours but we are human, regardless of race, sex, social status or whatever – we are human and we need other humans.
Deep down we all desire the same things.
I love that these coworkers talk to me and take the time to engage during our brief interactions.

Tonight as I was leaving, I was thinking about how much fun it might be to have a beer with these coworkers; one on one.  Find out more about them as people.  Laugh with them and find out about their lives outside of the office.
We all have lives outside of work.
We all have common ground.
I just wish there was more time in the day to explore it.
I also wish more people would realize this basic fact.

Say Hi to the people that serve you and whom you serve.
We're all only here for a short time.
Let's make it awesome for each other.
Those seemingly small gestures by those coworkers this week made the difference between me having a shitty week and me being able to make it through.
So, thanks.