Keeping Up Appearances

Today I had an appointment for a consultation about having some Juvederm injections under my eyes.  I have always disliked the look of the skin under my eyes.
It has always looked like I've had bags since I was a little kid because of all the eye surgeries I've had.
When I used to get annoyed by it, I would always remind myself that at least I can see and my left eye isn't all weird anymore.  As I've gotten older, however, it's gotten worse quicker than it probably should have so I figured I'd go talk to someone about maybe a quick fix.
I was told that for the results I was looking for, of course surgery would be the best option.
The doctor did say that she could make the area look nice and a bit fuller with injections but that it would only last about a year or so.
She was also impressed that I have no crow's feet.
We had a lovely chat and they worked up a price quote for me which came to between $800 and $1200.
Yup.
The fountain of sort of looking a bit younger, is not cheap.
I went ahead and scheduled an appointment for November, the Monday after Thanksgiving.
I don't really think I intend to keep the appointment considering I will be in Nashville with a friend at that time.
I like to travel more than I care about looking good.
That quote is enough for me to take that trip to Iceland we were looking at to ring in the New Year under the Northern Lights.
It is also enough to go on that fun river cruise with Dat from Prague to Paris.
So I am pretty sure I won't be getting it done unless I slip on another grape at Publix!
But even then I would use the money more wisely I'm pretty sure.
I just can't be that vain.
Some people are but I could do so much other stuff with those $$$.
But while I'm speaking of vanity and appearances...
Dudes, what the fuck is up with a goatee?
I was telling my buddy Andrew, when he asked how my dating was going, that it seemed that when dudes turn 45 they are required to have a goatee.
I informed him that it was one of the main reasons I don't really date guys my age.
That fucking goatee.
It's not sexy.
It's a bit weird.
Not a beard, not a moustache, but a weird little combo of both that looks like a hair donut around your mouth. Yes, that's right and it looks just as sexy as my description.
Hair donut.
Those crazy long ass beards freak me out too.
What the hell is living in there?
And the soul patch.
You don't see many of them but when you do, they're awful.
Okay - I had to go off on a tangent there.
Andrew told me his dad has a goatee.
I said, "He got it when he was 45, didn't he?"
He said, "Yes, around then."
Why?
Who knows?
All I know is I won't be dating you if you have one.
Sorry. Not sorry.
Okay so that's enough about appearances.
Maybe the goatee guys don't like old ladies with bags under their eyes but I'm sure I can find a nice young man in Italy without a goatee to make me feel better about not getting Juvederm injections.