Shit You Should Know

(this is an old one that I found sitting in the "drafts" folder perhaps I was going to add more but this seems like enough for now)

I began to notice that it seems as though there has been a rise in the number of idiots in the world.  Now perhaps it’s just me getting older or my lack of ability to suffer fools but whatever the case, these are a few small bits of information that I thought might be helpful to those less informed individuals  (I don’t think idiot is an acceptable PC term- so, sorry, to the idiots out there)  It will also help me be less annoyed.

I feel that most of the general population lacks what I refer to as “Sesame Street Skills” and, at the very least, the younger generation who never watched Sesame Street.

Old episodes can be found on YouTube if you wish to go back and learn what you should have learned when you were 4 or 5 years old!

Here we go:
Please get a pen and note pad and not your phone.  I noticed the kids in school who take notes in their phone always fail tests. For some reason they seem to think taking the notes into the phone will miraculously transfer said information into their brain without having to ever look at it again. In reality, I know they just took notes into the phone to appease the professor – so get a pen and paper!

-          Look both ways before crossing the street.  This is done to look for oncoming traffic. It is your responsibility to keep yourself alive.  Yes, pedestrians have the right of way but not if you are not seen.  Sometimes the driver actually doesn't see you.  Sometimes they are participating in a DeathRace situation; in which case you're doomed.  Either way, you can’t go to court and sue if you’re dead.  Remember that.

-          When crossing the street, hopefully at the corner or crosswalk where your ass should be, it is wise to walk BEHIND any car that may be waiting for a stop sign or stoplight.  Remember, it is your responsibility to keep yourself alive.  This will help.  Sometimes drivers get excited and will just go. (or that DeathRace thing) If you cross in front of them, you may die.  If you cross behind their car, you just may live

-          Cross the street at a street corner or crosswalk, dingus.

-          Taking your foot off the accelerator (gas) pedal will slow a car down.  “The hell?”  you say.  It’s true.  You don’t have to slam on your brakes on the highway all the fucking time.  If you see traffic slowing, take your foot off the gas.

-          Don’t stand directly in front and center of an elevator when waiting for it.  Surprise, surprise! Other people may be in there and need to get off.  You will be in their way and vice versa. Don’t be an ass.  Stand to the side.  Preferably the right-hand side but I know that may be pushing it. Let them off before you go all Pavlovian stampeding forward just because you heard the “ding”

-          Move to the right.  I can never stress this enough!!!!  If you are in the US or most other nations that are not British or under British rule; move to the right.

-          If you’re not sure how to do something, try to figure that shit out!  The best way to gain problem solving skills is by… wait for it…. solving problems!  “But how?” you may ask – figure that shit out too, dingus.  (hint: Google knows a lot of stuff; so does YouTube and they put instructions on just about EVERYTHING if you know how to read!  
Crazy. 
I know.